Communication is Key
by JavaJunkieLL4Ever
Summary: I'm not completely alone. I've got Paul Anka. I miss him though, not Paul Anka, Luke, my fiancée. A Java Junkie two shot taking place after 'You've been Gilmored'
1. Chapter 1

Title- Communication is Key

Pairings- Luke and Lorelai (What else?)

Time Set - Immediately after "You've Been Gilmored"

Summary- Lorelai Misses Him. What happens when she lets him know? A two-shot.

Lorelai's POV

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I came home alone. Again. After another hell-ish Friday night in Satan's Palace. Then again, I'm not completely alone. I've got Paul Anka. I miss him though; not Paul Anka, Luke, my fiancée. He's been distant lately. He doesn't come home at night anymore. He always has an excuse. I want to blame April, but it's also Luke's fault. And maybe even a bit mine. He should have told me and not waited those two months. I know he was confused but, still.

Luke was supposed to come home tonight. To our home. With me. Together. He has early deliveries tomorrow, though. I don't know how to tell him I'm hurting. That what he's doing is killing me. He needs to know that I'm here for him. That we're in this together. Forever.

Should I leave him another rambling message on his phone? Send him a freakin' singing telegram? I know for sure that I can't talk face to face with him. I really don't want to see his reaction to all this. He might get too mad. Does he even love me anymore? A letter! That's it. It's in all the movies. I grabbed a notebook full of paper and a pen and went upstairs to my bedroom. _Our_ Bedroom.

Luke,

Okay, so I know I'm risking a lot writing this, but I really want to get through to you, and I think this is the only way. I feel a little stupid, writing this letter while I could be talking to you if I just walked a couple minutes down the street. But, that's the reason. You're at the diner and its ten o'clock at night and you have no intentions on coming home tonight to our house. You have early deliveries tomorrow. I know. But what is going to happen when we get married? If we ever do. (It's all coming up, babe. Wait a couple paragraphs.) Are you going to stay at the diner every time you have deliveries?

You haven't stayed at the diner since we got engaged. But then, April show's up ad it's like you can't get away faster. I'm hurting so bad, Luke. You wanted to postpone our wedding. You haven't moved in. You kept April from me for two months and I still haven't met her. Why won't you let me meet her, Luke? I'm going to be her step-mom.

I'll start out with the postponing of the wedding. All I have is to ask why? Why would you want to postpone it? June third was supposed to be the best day of my life (aside from the day Rory was born). We were supposed to be finally married. Husband and Wife. Why all of a sudden do you want to postpone it? It's only a couple months away, but with my help we could have everything under control. Nothing will be that confusing. Do you love me? Do you want to marry me? I've never loved someone before you, Luke, don't you understand that? I also know that finding out about April must have been confusing but I need you to tell me these things. You use to be able to always tell when there was something wrong with me, but now, you just don't even pay attention. If I walked into the diner you could somehow tell how I felt. What happened to make you stop noticing?

I've never thought I could depend on someone the way I do with you. I've always been this independent woman that could do anything on my own but now that I have you, I can't do it on my own. When I proposed I wasn't kidding. I wasn't looking for a man to keep me warm while my daughter went into a wild phase. I saw you standing there, saying how we could get Rory back into Yale, together. That's when I realized that you finally got it. That Rory was part of the package deal with me and I know you love her, the way you always were so protective of her. How you thought Rory deserved a Prince. She doesn't need a Price, just someone that will love her and treat her like she's the world the way you have always been with me.

Why haven't you moved in? Did you just think I needed comfort while Rory was gone? That you needed to say yes and that April is finally an excuse to get out of this crazy relationship and that I truly do belong in a mental institution? I want you here, Luke. With me, holding me at night, for the rest of my life. I'm scared and excited whenever I think about it. Falling asleep every night together and waking up with you. We renovated this house I am in so we could start a new life and now you're never here. I am so lonely at night. I was used to sleeping next to you every night and now, once in a while. I was supposed to reward you tonight (dirty, I know and I intended it to be), but you didn't come home. And as bad as it sounds, I can actually feel a little, tiny, bit of how Nicole must have felt when you never came home. It's sad and it hurts.

And finally, why didn't you tell me about April? What happened to the no secrets, Luke? We sat in that amazingly comfortable chair up in your apartment and promised. Did you think it just didn't apply to you? It just, it hurts so bad that you're keeping me away from her. Do you not trust me to be with her? Did you not trust me enough to tell me? I can help you out with her, I've raised a daughter, we can do it together. We are melding two lives into one and I'm really ready. I want to be married to you. I want to have kids. Will we still have kids? Now that you have April is that enough? I want to raise a little kid or two with you, watch them grow up and have you by my side the whole time. But we need to talk. This whole not talking thing, it broke us up before and I can't let that happen again. I need you. I need you to talk to me and let me help. I just hate that you can't confide in me the way I do to you. Communication is key in our relationship. If we don't talk, we get distant. I hate that because I love you. I really do. Never like this before too and it's scary so please talk to me.

Yours only and forever,

Lorelai Gilmore(Danes-hopefully-to-be)

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I packed the letter into an envelope and wrote _Luke _on the front. I checked the clock. Quarter of eleven. I could just walk to the diner, give it to him and leave. I don't want to stay for his reaction. If he loves me, he'll come after me. The thought scares me a bit because what if he doesn't?

I slipped on a sweatshirt and ran down the stairs with the letter in my hand; I had a couple of tear stains dripping down my red and puffy eyes. I slipped into a pair of shoes and opened the door to meet a cold surge of wind. I was going to Luke's no matter what. We needed to get this figured out.


	2. Chapter 2

--Part 2--

I walked up to the diner. It was closed and all the lights were out. I figured he must be upstairs so I reached above the door and grabbed the key. I slowly opened the door so the jingle of the bells wouldn't interrupt the silence too bad. I slowly climbed the stairs and before I knew it I was at the door. I entered gradually, trying not to lose my nerve. I needed to do this. He needed to know this. He was already asleep in his bed. He should be at home with me, though, a sad voice said in my head.

I took my time walking to his bed. When I got there I sat on the edge and nudged him a bit. When I didn't get any response I started shaking him a little bit. "Luke." I called out softly, drawing out his name.

He slowly awoke and sat up, rubbing his eyes and yawning. "Lorelai?" He asked, confused "What are you doing here at-" He looked over at his alarm clock. "Eleven o'clock? Are you okay?" He actually sounded concerned, that's good.

Was I okay? No, I wasn't but I didn't want to tell him. I had the answer he was looking for in my hands. I cleared my throat a little, hoping he wouldn't realize I was crying. He didn't, but I blame the lighting, it was really dark in there. "Here." I said, holding out the letter but still clutching it as if my life depended on it. "I'm going to leave and once you hear the bells downstairs ring, open it, okay?" I asked, as he slowly took the letter from my death grip.

I could tell he was confused before he even spoke. "Okay," He said, unsteadily. I gave him a quick peck on the lips to symbolize my goodbye and left. I knew that no matter what he would come after me, either to take back the ring or apologize profusely. I begged for the latter. I opened the door and shut it to let the bells ring out numerously so he would realize I left. After I heard him shout down that he got the point, I chuckled a bit and left.

When I got home I sat on the couch, waiting to see how long it would take him. After about ten minutes of waiting I though he might not follow me but I decided to stay, he would come home, to our house.

I think it was about five minutes later I heard some steps outside. Finally. He walked right in, but didn't see me on the couch. "Took you long enough." I said in a monotone voice, startling him. "Jeez," he called out, turning around.

He walked over to the couch and took my hand, "Hey," he said a bit uncomfortably.

"Hi," I said, shifting my feet out from underneath me.

"Let's go upstairs and talk," He suggested in a soft and gentle voice, pulling me off the couch and walking with his hand on the small of my back up the stairs.

Once we got upstairs we both sat down on our own sides of the bed, it was nice to see him there.

He was looking down at his hands. He looked...nervous. How could he be nervous? I should be the nervous one. Is he nervous because...? No he wouldn't, would he? Would he really want to end it? Am I too much for him right now? God, this is killing me! "So..." I started off, trying to get him to start talking.

"I'm sorry." He stated, so softly I could barely hear him. "Really, truly, sorry."

"Why would you not tell me though?" I asked, my voice was very small and it took me a second for me to recognize it.

"It all happened one day, and at first I was just going to leave it alone. I mean, April, she just came into the diner one day and took a piece of my hair. Then, the day I found out I was going to tell you that night, but you came running into the diner saying how Rory was back and that we could finally start planning the wedding. You were so happy." He marveled. He couldn't look at me and I could tell he was killing himself over this. "I wanted to tell you, but I could just never find the time, you were always so happy and I didn't want you to hate me when you found out."

"I wouldn't have hated you." I told him

"I know." He told me, nodding his head slowly

"Why won't you let me meet her, though? I mean I will be her step-mom, right?" I asked. My voice was squeaky and I think I was crying. I couldn't tell.

"You will," He reassured me, taking a deep breath, then real releasing it. "It's not that I don't want you to meet her it's just," He sighed and looked down uncomfortably.

"You can tell me," I reminded him gently, putting my hand on his arm.

"I'm suck as a dad." He blurted out, surprising me with the bitterness in his tone.

"What?" I asked, both astonished and confused. He does not suck as a dad. He was always perfect with Rory. What the hell is he talking about?

"I suck as a dad," He told me slowly. "You're an amazing mom. I mean, what you did with Rory, it's amazing. You both are. And it's just that, I want to prove to you that I can be a good father. I wanted to show you that I wouldn't totally mess up our kids."

"Luke," I said, sympathetically. Did he really mean that? "You're an amazing father." I told him softly.

"How would you know? I haven't let you see how I am with April?" He asked.

"Because I know. You were the most fatherly figure in Rory's life that she could depend on. You were always so great to her, like a father would." I reminded him. He should know this. It's always been like that. I took a deep and shaky breath, then let it out slowly. I looked down for a couple seconds as we sat in the silence. "Why did you, um," I cleared my throat nervously. "Why did you want to postpone the wedding?" I asked, looking up at him.

"Truthfully," he said, squinting his eyes in an adorable fashion, like he was trying to remember something, "I don't know." He told me with a shrug. I looked at him, confused and stumped. He postponed the wedding for no reason? Doesn't he know what he's been doing to me?

"You don't know?" I asked, more like stated slowly, and nodded my head up and down.

"Well, it's just, I was confused. I didn't know what you were thinking and what was going to happen. If you hated me because I never told you and were going to break it off sometime or what ever was going through your head." He really thought I was going to break it off? Is he serious? God he can be so dense sometimes!

"Do you still want to get married?" I asked, my voice was wavering and my breath was caught in my throat. My stomach felt all fluttery, not the good kind, the nervous kind.

He did a double-take and gave me this look that said, 'Are you serious?' "Of course I still do, I love you, Lorelai." That was all the reassurance I needed. I felt my face break out in a smile and I felt tears pricking at my eyes.

"I love you, too." I stated softly. Now that I had my confidence back, I got the urge to ask him a question, a big one. "When?"

He looked down a bit, then up. "What about June 3rd?" He asked. I actually felt my smile get bigger, if that was even possible, and I nodded 'yes' very enthusiastically.

He chuckled a bit and then asked, "When should I move in?"

"As soon as possible." I said with a firm nod. He smiled, more like grinned, back.

"Come to the diner tomorrow, between 7 and 8. You can meet April." And that, was the exact moment I know everything would be okay. Because he loved me, I loved him, and we were getting married on June third.


End file.
